Respect

Respect is an important issue in daily life. People want to be respected by other human beings. It is a basic need of humans. They expect it, crave for it and on occasion, even demand it from others. But respect cannot be demanded, but it should be commanded. It must be earned. What happens when people demand respect and if they don't get it?   Lack of respect is the major reason for anger, frustration, fights, gang wars. Enormous number of people demand respect without doing anything to deserve it.  If you are not getting the respect you expect, you are kicking the negative emotions of envy and resentment.. 

How do you know if you are respected?

• When you speak, people pay attention. Listening well is a sign of respect.
• In your interactions,people are generally polite. They don't fight, argue or shout. Their body language and expressions indicate respect.
• They consider you knowledgeable, experienced, wise, etc. Seek your suggestions or opinion.on important issues.
• Poole honor their commitments, come on time. Not being punctual is a sign of disrespect.
• When people respect you, they take sufficient care not be rude with you.

What  exactly is "Respect"?

It is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements. It is giving due regard for the feelings, wishes or rights of others. It is a way of treating or thinking about something or someone. You show respect by being polite and kind. Taking your hat off is a show of respect. When people are insulted or treated  badly, they feel they haven't been treated with respect. 

Respect means you accept somebody for who they are even when they are different from you or you don't agree with them.  Respect in your relationships build feelings of trust, safety and well-being.  Respect is the glue that holds your relationships together. Learn ways to be respectful and know what to do when somebody isn't respectful towards you. 

Why is respect important?

Receiving respect is important because it helps us to feel safe and and to express ourselves freely. Respect doesn't have to come naturally or spontaneously, it is something you can. learn.

What does respect look like?

How do you know if there is respect in your relationship? 

• You feel safe being around each other
• It is okay for both of you to express who you are. 
• Even when you disagree, you listen to each other and be patient
• You don't yell or talk over the top of each other.
• Neither of you is controlling the other person's choices.
• You both talk openly about your needs.
• You both allow the other person space.
• You can both admit when you made a mistake.

Getting relationship back on track

Sometimes we find ourselves not feeling respected by other people including our family or friends.. While it is not always possible to change somebody and make them respect you, there are somethings you can try

• Show people what respect looks like by being respectful yourself. Set an example
• Tell the person what he or she is doing isn't okay and why. Be specific.
• Try to understand their point of view
• Spend time with people who are respectful and make you feel safe.
• Talk to somebody you trust like a parent, teacher or a counselor
• Give that person a chance to change his or her behavior towards you..
• It is okay to end a friendship with people if they cannot be respectful towards you and you don't feel safe around them. 

How do we get respect?

• Our title, rank and position get us some respect
• In our culture elderly people, parents, teachers, boss are respected.regardless whether they deserve it or not.
• We get respect based on our behavior, attitude and interactions with others.
• When we show thoughtful consideration to others through our actions, words, feelings, ideas, and wishes

How do we get respect?

• Honor what you say, be honest, reliable and trustworthy.
• Don't waste others' time.
• Don't bad mouth others.
• Stop apologizing for every small thing.
• Stand up for what you believe in
• Stop being too nice
• Speak up when mistreated.
• Stand up for someone else.
• Be yourself
• Care for others
• Be good at what you do. Competent people are loved and respected.
• Add real value - offer something that help solve a problem for them
• Offer to help - others will take notice of you.
• Control your emotions
• Be inspiring

Strategies for ensuring respect in our interactions.

• Your dress, grooming, actions, character, words and humility gain you respect.
• Defend your time - don't allow anybody to waste your most precious resource - be it gossip, be it delayed meeting,  or not honoring commitments
• Exhibit values such as integrity, discipline, organized, punctual, kind, polite, humble
• Be Assertive. In the long run, assertive people gain respect. 
• Use absence to increase respect. If you spend too much time with someone, familiarity breeds contempt. Deliberately, don't be available all the time.
• Always say less than necessary. Talk to the point, be concise and focused. 
• Laugh less, don't be a joker.
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